Kimberly Fly

KIMBERLY FLY from 'Breaking Bad' 


   As of late, I've been getting some much needed exercise from my newly minted walks around my neighborhood. Nothing too fancy, but hopefully if I stick with it, it'll branch off into a more intense power walk and/or a light jog. So after I'm done I always step into the 7-11 which is on the way home right around the corner from my apartment for a couple of gallons of water to chug down. Now on this particular day as soon as I step in I run into a fly on wall—but mind you, this is not just any old ordinary fly. This is Kimberly Fly who starred in the Breaking Bad "Fly" episode during season three years ago. Wow, I was geeked! Most wouldn't recognize her but I sure did. Can't lie, and I hate to say this, but she looked a little run down like she wasn't doing her best at the moment. From what I saw it even looked like someone or something had taken a bite out of her left wing upon close inspection as she hovered in front of me while we were standing in line. And yeah she was being an ass as well as she lit up a cigarette inside against the manager's orders not to. "What's your problem, its just a g*ddamn cigarette! Is my pizza ready? How much longer do I have to wait for crying out loud? You guys should throw in a few of those day old wings over there in the display case and a Slurpee while I wait, as much money as I spend in this place!", she screamed out to the cashier Maumoud who I knew personally from my myriad of visits. My gut told me to jump in to ease the situation a bit so I did by telling her how great she was in that episode of Breaking Bad how I heard that another "The Fly" remake could be in the works at Paramount. I hoped that her agent could get her in the mix for that if it even happens of course. She looked at me with a deadpan gaze, exhaled a gust of nicotine in my vicinity, and turned back to Maumoud and said, "How much longer for my freaking pizza man?! At that moment the store's microwave buzzer sounded and her pepperoni pie was immediately boxed up and quickly handed to her.

   After receiving the food her tone changed and reversed immensely for the better. "Thank you", she said kindly. Ah, there was a spell of decency in her, but I guess I spoke to soon 'cause after she bought a cheap lighter and few scratch-offs she turned to me right before leaving and said, "Fuck Breaking Bad. Its the reason I don't do tv anymore. Oh, and did you know that in-between shoots Aaron Paul came to my trailer and put a can of Raid to my head and said give me a blow job or else you're toast! Yeah it turned out to be a joke because the entire cast and crew was in on it and they handed me a cake once we were done filming for my guest appearance and whatnot but screw that. I was #metoo-ed and also later down the line I was the blame for being the problem in what's considered the worst episode of Breaking Bad in its existence, so yeah FUCK THAT SHOW and AMC! They wouldn't be shit without Netflix anyway.. but to you kind sir, take care of yourself and have a good day!"

   She stormed out of there or I should say she flew out with a vengeance! Whew, wow! I was speechless after that. Its such a cold world out here and it was time for me to get home right after that experience. But you know what, my good pal Maumoud gave me a bag of chips and a Slurpee on the house for helping him deal with that situation. Thank you Maumoud and thank you Kimberly Fly!

Maxwell Trunks, aka 

Hollywood Elephant